STUPID
QUESTION ™
By John Ruch
Copyright 1998-2008. All rights
reserved.
SMART ANSWERS to your STUPID
QUESTIONS
Stupid
Question ™ is now defunct.
Enjoy the column archives.
(Archives
are still being updated as time allows.)
Aug.
18, 2003: Game show
contestants with disabilities
Aug.
1, 2003: Asbestos
July
24, 2003: Lost
luggage store
July
17, 2003: “Davy
Jones’ locker”/“Swimmingly”
July
3, 2003: Interracial
marriage and gay marriage
June
26, 2003: Corked bats
June
19, 2003: Albinism
June
12, 2003: “Peter out”
June
5, 2003: “Short
shrift”/“Tadaa”
May
29, 2003: Real-life
Frankenstein
May
22, 2003: Music and
math
May
15, 2003: King Arthur
invented by criminal
May
8, 2003: “Dead/lame
ducks”
May
1, 2003: Pink
elephants
April
24, 2003: Monsters
with outstretched arms
April
17, 2003: “In like
Flynn”
April
10, 2003: Lincoln’s
corpse stolen
April
3, 2003: Fart
artists
March
27, 2003: Perpetual
motion
March
20, 2003: Presidents:
Left-handed and nicest graves
March
13, 2003: “Shindig”
March
6, 2003: “Hunky-dory”
Feb.
27, 2003: Singing
sand
Feb.
20, 2003: Bell-bottoms
Feb.
13, 2003: “Jumbo”
Feb.
6, 2003: Travel
without citizenship
Jan.
30, 2003: Shriners
and Islam
Jan.
23, 2003: Jugging for
cats
Jan.
16, 2003: Mummy
wheat
Jan.
9, 2003: Wind
Jan.
2, 2003: Owl as wisdom
symbol
Dec.
26, 2002: “Road,”
“street,” “avenue” and “lane”
Dec.
19, 2002: “Made from
scratch”
Dec.
5, 2002: “Greensleeves”
becoming a Christmas carol
Nov.
28, 2002: Aurora
audibility
Nov.
21, 2002: Seedless
fruit/“Fucking A”
Nov.
14, 2002: Burning
crosses of KKK and Methodists
Nov.
7, 2002: Crows
collecting shiny objects
Oct.
31, 2002: “Buck
naked”
Oct.
24, 2002: Emergency
Broadcast System on Sept. 11
Oct.
17, 2002: Naming
hurricanes
Oct.
10, 2002: Saddam
Hussein referred to by first name
Oct.
3, 2002: Shanghaied
sailors
Sept.
26, 2002: Prison
islands
Sept.
19, 2002: “Four-flusher”
Sept.
12, 2002: Quadraphonic
sound
Sept.
5, 2002: Movie
popularity measurement
Aug.
29, 2002: Knocking on
wood
Aug.
22, 2002: “Jesus
H. Christ”/“Break a leg”
Aug.
15, 2002: “Editor-in-chief”
Aug.
8, 2002: Japanese
sword sharpness
Aug.
1, 2002: Small-town
pro football
July
25, 2002: Dalmatians
on fire trucks
July
18, 2002: “REO
Speedwagon”
July
11, 2002: Chippendale,
the Chippendales and Chip and Dale
July
4, 2002: Teen teams in
mystery novels
June
27, 2002: Black/white
rhinos as species, not races
June
20, 2002: Pistachio
nuts dyed red/Family trees
June
13, 2002: Figuring
out family trees
June
6, 2002: Geese flying
in V
May
30, 2002: “OK”
May
23, 2002: Tornado
hits skyscraper and nuclear power plant
May
16, 2002: Tides
May
9, 2002: Antarctica
ownership
May
2, 2002: “Blow
job”
April
26, 2002: “I Don’t
Like Mondays” killer
April
18, 2002: Leg-crossing
April
11, 2002: Pockets
April
4, 2002: Registering
hands as deadly weapons
March
28, 2002: Federal
Reserve System
March
21, 2002: Def
Leppard’s “Gunter glieben glauten globen”
March
14, 2002: Meteoric
dust
March
7, 2002: Whiskey
companies during Prohibition
Feb.
28, 2002: Alphabetical
order
Feb.
21, 2002: Carrier
pigeons
Feb.
14, 2002: Benjamin
Franklin and kinky sex
Feb.
7, 2002: “Pussycat”
Jan.
31, 2002: Guantanamo
Bay Naval Base origin
Jan.
24, 2002: Mothman
Jan.
17, 2002: Train
engines backward/“Flea markets”
Jan.
10, 2002: Hijacking
planes to Cuba
Jan.
3, 2002: “Flea
markets”
Dec.
27, 2001: “Speak
now or forever hold your peace”
Dec.
20, 2001: AD and
BC
Dec.
13, 2001: Rear-view
mirrors
Dec.
6, 2001: Colonial
smallpox vaccine
Nov.
29, 2001: “The
butler did it”
Nov.
21, 2001: Lake Erie
monster
Nov.
15, 2001: Racehorse
names
Nov.
8, 2001: State
capitals uncool
Nov.
1, 2001: Toad-licking
Oct.
25, 2001: Belly
dancing and Islam
Oct.
18, 2001: Messages
in bottles
Oct.
11, 2001: Exorcism
Oct.
4, 2001: McDonald’s
hamburger sales
Sept.
27, 2001: Animal rape
Sept.
20, 2001: Human tails
Sept.
13, 2001: Last names
Sept.
6, 2001: Reusing the
blood of the dead
Aug.
16, 2001: “Midget”
birth length
Aug.
9, 2001: “Deadpan”
Aug.
2, 2001: Coins thrown
in fountains
July
26, 2001: Bugs
attracted to lights
July
19, 2001: Poisonous
pufferfish sushi
July
12, 2001: Sex in
space
July
5, 2001: No reverse
microwave
June
14, 2001: French
Foreign Legion
June
7, 2001: King Arthur
May
31, 2001: “Shampoo”
May
24, 2001: “Book” and
“tome”
April
26, 2001: Yawning
contagious
April
19, 2001: “Ketchup”
and “catsup”
April
12, 2001: Trees
appearing bluish on a distant hillside
March
29, 2001: IIII
instead of IV on clocks
March
22, 2001: Alien
abduction
March
15, 2001: “Fourth
estate”
March
8, 2001: Bird
droppings white
March
1, 2001: Fraternities
as Greek
Feb.
22, 2001: Hair shirts
Feb.
15, 2001: “Jesus”
Feb.
8, 2001: Satanism and
Faith-Based Initiative
Feb.
1, 2001: Marshmallows
Jan.
25, 2001: Voiceprint
machines
Jan.
18, 2001: Cabooses
Jan.
4, 2001: Superman in
World War II
Dec.
28, 2000: New
millennium 2000 or 2001
Dec.
21, 2000: Cats
purring
Dec.
14, 2000: Sea-Monkeys
Dec.
7, 2000: Roman math
Nov.
30, 2000: Double
cousins and half-siblings
Nov.
23, 2000: Stainless
steel as odor remover
Nov.
16, 2000: Albums
released on Tuesdays
Nov.
9, 2000: Legal
cocaine
Nov.
2, 2000: “Cocktail”
Oct.
26, 2000: “Grease”
censorship
Oct.
19, 2000: Grauman’s
Chinese Theatre star prints
Oct.
12, 2000: Lava lamps
Oct.
5, 2000: Skull &
Bones and George W. Bush
Sept.
28, 2000: Tomatoes as
poisonous
Sept.
21, 2000: “Murphy’s
Law”
Sept.
14, 2000: “BFE”
Sept.
7, 2000: “Cheers”
Aug.
31, 2000: “Dutch
uncle”
Aug.
24, 2000: “Downs” in
horse track names
Aug.
17, 2000: “Peg” as
“Margaret” nickname
Aug.
10, 2000: Gulf War
friendly fire deaths
Aug.
3, 2000: Ex-presidents
serving again
July
27, 2000: The mullet
July
20, 2000: “86”
July
13, 2000: Anchors
June
22, 2000: Half-and-half
not spoiling
June
15, 2000: Pets allergic
to humans
June
8, 2000: Civil War
urine gunpowder
April
27, 2000: Witness
protection program
April
20, 2000: Milk-drinking
April
6, 2000: “Bachelor”
March
23, 2000: Space
shuttle upside down
March
2, 2000: Livestock
sticks
Feb.
24, 2000: Red soda
Feb.
17, 2000: “Yankee
Rose” in Satanic Bible
Feb.
10, 2000: Moon name
Feb.
3, 2000: Housewarming
parties
Jan.
27, 2000: Public
housing door color
Jan.
20, 2000: Sea gulls
not on sea
Jan.
13, 2000: Cheese dyed
yellow
Jan.
6, 2000: How Sun
burns
Jan.
4, 2000: “Bangs”
Dec.
30, 1999: Percentage
of humans ever to live who are alive for new millennium
Dec.
23, 1999: Morton
Salt motto/“Three sheets to the wind”
Dec.
16, 1999: Sunshine
rays appear to fan out
Dec.
9, 1999: English
muffins, Brazil nuts, French toast, Italian dressing in home countries
Dec.
2, 1999: “Three
sheets to the wind”/Chinese water torture
Nov.
25, 1999: Heart
symbol
Nov.
18, 1999: Chinese
water torture
Nov.
11, 1999: Urination
with defecation but not vice-versa/“Whole nine yards”
Nov.
4, 1999: Lie
detection
Oct.
28, 1999: Trick-or-treating
Oct.
21, 1999: Plastic
pink flamingos
Oct.
14, 1999: “Whole
nine yards”
Oct.
7, 1999: Fallout
shelters
Sept.
30, 1999: Singers
losing accents
Sept.
23, 1999: Objects in
mirror closer than they appear
Sept.
2, 1999: Caesar
salad
Aug.
26, 1999: Gap-front
toilet seats/Friday the 13th
Aug.
5, 1999: Why
95 degrees hot if body temperature is 98.6/US and Canadian coins the same size
July
29, 1999: Church
steeples as pagan
July
22, 1999: Bounty
hunters
July
15, 1999: Revolving
doors
May
20, 1999: Americans
driving on right, British on left
May
13, 1999: Moon
ownership
May
6, 1999: Farts
flammable, burps not/Animal orgasms
April
29, 1999: Decaffeinization
April
22, 1999: Female
animal orgasms
April
15, 1999: Hair
“memory”/“D’oh!”/Person-in-barrel
April
8, 1999: Captain going
down with ship
April
1, 1999: “D’oh!”
March
25, 1999: Hand hurts
while crying
March
18, 1999: Caesar
Rodney quarter
March
11, 1999: “Saving
Private Ryan” Nazi dialogue
March
4, 1999: American
accents
Feb.
25, 1999: Cheap TVs
buzzing
Feb.
18, 1999: Old wine
Feb.
11, 1999: Empire
State Building weight
Oct.
28, 1998: Water
doesn’t burn
Oct.
22, 1998: Poor
people wearing barrels
Oct.
1, 1998: Gas prices
set at one-tenth of cent
Aug.
27, 1998: Watches in
ads set to 10:10
Aug.
20, 1998: No toys in
cereal boxes
Aug.
13, 1998: Black skin
tanning
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Question™ contents are for informational purposes only. Readers are encouraged
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