Stupid Question ™
By John Ruch
© 2000
Q: It is positive or
negative to be called a “Dutch uncle”?
—Tom
A: If you’re from
But if you’re referring to the English phrase, I’m not sure if it’s positive or negative, because its meaning appears to be in transition.
Dictionary definitions generally agree that a “Dutch uncle” is someone who gives you blunt criticism.
But they vary widely and subtly in specifics. Is a Dutch uncle “brutally frank” or “firm but kindly”? Is he “someone not your uncle who gives you advice as though he was,” or merely “someone close enough to speak directly”?
One
certainty is that the phrase is part of a series of “Dutch” slurs, which also
include “Dutch treat” (everybody pays) and “Dutch courage” (drunken bragging).
Such terms got their start in the 1600s, during trade tensions between
But they
got new life in 1800s
(So you can
keep this straight: “Deutsch” is an old German term for the German language, as
distinct from Latin; like “English,” it soon became a word for the people
themselves. The English spelled “Deutsch” as “Dutch,” and for a couple
centuries used it as a term for Germans, which at the time also included the
people of the
That’s
where “Dutch uncle” comes from—it’s of
The “Dutch” slurs often meant little more than “foreign and stupid,” like Polish jokes. They all worked by using “Dutch” to indicate a reversal of common practice: in a “Dutch treat,” there was no treat; in a “Dutch auction,” the bidding amount was reduced until someone bid the lowest possible amount.
So we would
expect that a “Dutch uncle” is the opposite of a regular uncle. And in
With this background, it’s pretty clear to me that “Dutch uncle” was originally a negative term. Still, it all depends on what you think of harsh advice.
Some etymologists, especially those who take a more positive reading of the phrase, have “discovered” different origins for the term.
They suggest that it comes from a supposed Dutch (German?) reputation for strict discipline—and that it reinforces an already harsh meaning of uncle, based on Roman traditions of uncles being strict.
As etymologies, these are garbage. But the meaning of a phrase can stray far from its origins, and these fanciful etymologies tell us that meaning is changing.
That’s not surprising when you consider that people have widely varying feelings about uncles and harsh advice, and that very few people equate “Dutch” with German anymore.
My blunt
advice: Pay attention to the context. “Dutch uncle” is as positive or negative
as its user intends it to be.